Why This Video About the Absurdity of the Paleo Diet Is Hilariously on Point
Have you ever been this person on a date? It’s hard not to believe that hot guy at the gym. How could someone with such a beautiful six-pack be wrong?
Paleo is based off of the premise that humans were never more sexy than during the Paleolithic era. Even though they had no antibiotics or shampoo, everyone was covered lice, they were damn irresistible.
In case you missed the Atkin’s-Turned-Paleo explosion, this diet philosophy is based on eating as much food as you want, so long as it is only meat and veggies.
Depending on the fad, sometimes you are allowed dairy or lentils but never starches like pasta, bread, or grains.
The Paleo explosion is all fine and good, but has caused an oversimplification of what constitutes a healthy, human diet.
The current mythology of low-carb diets is ancient humans didn’t have access to grains and therefore, our bodies haven’t adapted to digesting them.
Paleo makes the case that modern farming and crop cultivation is what ultimately wreaked havoc on our modern health and lead to obesity. This is why grains and processed flours are forbidden.
Early humans didn’t raise animals for meat or milk, making corn-fed animals and dairy off-limits. And processed foods, refined sugar, and salt as we know it didn’t even exist.
Our ancestors didn’t exactly have Snickers bars and Cheetos 20,000 years ago.
While meat and vegetables were a decadent indulgence for ancient tribes, it is likely they spent most of their time foraging and subsisting off of nuts, seeds, grains, and berries.
Their primary protein source? Insects. And rodents on a good day.
Recent findings present humans have been foraging for grains and grinding wheat into bread for over 100,000 years. Turns out, oats and quinoa are not a completely foreign substance to our biological evolution afterall.
There is no major proof that Paleolithic era humans enjoyed healthier and longer lives than their modern-day counterparts.
A study from The Lancet revealed alarmingly high rates of hardened arteries in ancient mummies. 47 of the 137 mummies studied were suspected of having the disease atherosclerosis.
Will you lose weight if you cut out carbs?
But not because you are embarking on a primal eating quest that will put you in touch with your lost ancestors and ancient self.
Eliminating carbs from your diet puts your body into ‘ketosis’. Put simply, Ketosis is a metabolic process that functions as a backup reserve for your body to keep it going.
When you don’t have enough carbohydrates for your cells to burn for energy, your body burns fat instead.
Now, Paleo doesn’t have it all wrong. It is a high-protein diet, and protein is amazing for you. You really can’t get enough of it. And I don’t have any case against ketosis-based diets.
Except here is a picture of how I feel after quitting carbs for a week:
I personally have never found ‘no carbs ever’ to be a sustainable, long-term weight loss plan.
I wind up binging on bacon to distract myself from cake. Then I start taking cheat meals, which turn into cheat days, which turn into cheat weeks.
If the idea of never eating another tortilla or bite of pasta again in your life terrifies you, I encourage you to learn how to incorporate healthy, complex carbs into your eating habits from the start.